This was found on a Caring Bridge page for a friends sons...and it touched me very much. It speaks so much for how these kids are. They are strong, couragous and ever so loveable.

Sometimes life seems hard to bear,

Full of sorrow, trouble and woe,

It's then I have to remember

That it's in the valleys I grow.

If I always stayed on the mountain top

And never experienced pain,

I would never appreciate God's love,

And would be living in vain.
I have so much to learn,

And my growth is very slow,

Sometimes I need the mountain tops,

But it's in the valleys I grow.

I do not always understand

Why things happen as they do,

But I am very sure of one thing ...

My Lord will see me through.
My little valleys are nothing

When I picture Christ on the cross

He went through the valley of death;

His victory was Satan's loss.
Forgive me Lord, for complaining

When I'm feeling so very low,

Just give me a gentle reminder

That it's in the valleys I grow.

Continue to strengthen me Lord,

And use my life each day,

To share your love with others

And help them find their way.
Thank you for valleys Lord,

For this one thing I know ...

The mountain tops are glorious,

But it's in the valleys I grow!

God is Great!!!

After a bit of a run around today, Jacob's insurance (Tefra) Though the state of South Carolina is APPROVED! Thank God! That is such a huge weight lifted off our shoulders! And will save us ALOT of money that we cant afford to pay out.

Praise the Lord!!!!

It took 3 months....but it is awesome to have it done!

To everyone that helped us during this struggle, Shannon, Heather (mama), Susan...and others (i'm sure!) THANK YOU!

Some things...

There are some thing's that i've been avoiding posting about on here. They eat me alive, and at times steal my breath away. But ive avoided it knowing that someday...somewhere, he'll see this blog. And with that thought is the hope that someday my father and I can reconcile our differences and become civil to each other. But with each day that turns into months, years...and yes a decade. It becomes harder and harder to think that someday this could end.

Before moving to South Carolina in May of this year I emailed him. (And yes I know he received it, I know from a very reliable source) I gave him the chance to contact me, and to see his grandkids. Caitlynn was 11 months old that last time he saw her. Yes she is 9 now! Jacob...well he's never seen that special boy. Even in the NICU (and yes I had him on the 'allowed visitor' list) he never attempted to see his grandson. I dont want to turn this into a bash, I have wonderful memories as a child. Humm I'll be 30 this year. Of going to my Grandparents with just him. Of camping trips...and holidays. Halloween was the bomb at our place! But with the good comes the bad, the aweful, and the sadness. There are things i've been told that I wont even type. EVER. Mind you he never layed a hand on me or my brother. Unless it was a swat/slap we deserved. BUT verbal is sometimes worse then physical. And what is not worse is just as bad.

I keep hearing songs lately that take me back in time. My dad gave me 2 CD's for Christmas the year my parents divorced. 1991... Reba and John Michael Murphy (cowboy songs). That year he gave me a rose...I pressed the one petal, and just threw it out last year. With that petal went my hope. My hope for even a long distance relationship with him. My Hope that my kids will someday know their grandfather. My hope that my Dad would one day grow up.

Honestly I dont know why i'm typing this. He'll never see it. Even though I know he has this blog address, I dont think he cares enough to check on us. To see how his daughter, son in law, and grandkids are. To care you must have a heart...a heart that has room for everyone around you, not just the ones that do exactly what you say.

Well...I guess that's all for now. I do still send cards. And I even contiplated sending pic's of someone elses kids. He'd never know anyway. But just incase he's reading...

Dad you have my address. You have my phone number. You have the power to change the way things are. I've tried, and failed. I am moving on...someday.

Back to that song thing again...

Dad..

Rascall Flats

I'm Moving on.

I've delt with my ghosts and i've faced all my demons

Finally content with a past I regret.

I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness

For once i'm at peace with myself

I've been burdened with blame, Trapped in the past for too long

I'm movin' on.

Another Song Post...

Tired of them yet?

This one is for a few good, awesome, great friends out there!

http://artists.letssingit.com/tracy-lawrence-lyrics-find-out-who-your-friends-are-lv4x8xm



What else happened today.... Oh yes! Jacob is saying "Set" as in "ready...Set...GO!" he say's go too, so all you have to say is "ready" and he'll say set, go! or "One" and he'll say " Two, Go!" He's getting there! Only took 2 years 11 months, but hey he's trying!

We took Caitlynn to a Greenville Drive game tonight, with fireworks! She had fun, the game was nice to watch. They didnt win....but oh well. www.greenvilledrive.com

Have a good holiday all!

Frank is out of work...& Me!!!

Till Tuesday. Last wednesday he fell at work and got taken to the ER. He hurt is right knee...and his back. So far thankfully it's just bruised, and he is starting to walk on it again some. The doc wants him weaning off the crutches this weekend. So this week Mom-Mom got to take Jacob to daycare one day...and forgot to give them his lunchbox, so she went back. Friday was "B"ear day at school. Bring your favorite bear! So Snowy went to daycare with him Friday, and got left behind...thankfully they were still there when Frank called!! J would of been lost without that bear for a 3 day weekend!

Jacob is still sounding Wheezy. We've upped his flovent/albuteral, and he's not showing outward signs of distress (retracting) ... but something is brewing, please keep him in your prayers.

Caitlynn's school sends home "thursday folders" and a report for their weekly behaviour in it. Out of Great, Good, Fair or Poor. She got a Great!! And they did not have checked off "talking in class" which is a big challange for her. WOOO HOOO! Now that we know this is sent home we've set up an incentive program for them. Greats are worth $2.50, Good's are $1.00, Fairs dont give money, but dont take it away either. And Poor's Take away $2.50. Her teacher (or all of 4th? not sure) is setting up a money "debit" acct for the kids. They get $2 for being in class. And $2 for not getting a check mark that day. So they can earn $20 a week. Then there are other things that would make them loose money. IE: no name on paper -$1, Check Mark -$1 each time.....and other things. They will get a paycheck each week, they can keep it, or cash it. But it's only good towards the general store they will open every other friday. Sounds cool! I'll let you all know how she does!

Now for the MEEE part of this post! Scroll all the way to the bottom...and check out the numbers on that ticker!! OMG i'm sooo stoked! I'm 1/4 of the way to my goal!